December 13, 2018 - What if...

It has been a remarkable lesson in listening to God’s timing. You may call it coincidence. But I simply can’t find anything at all in that. Random bodies happening on each other at elevators just because. How is any single thing in life served in that? But think of all the hope and meaning found and served in purposeful timing. What if for a single moment we took time to actually be in the very moment we were actually in. Headphones out, eyes open, walking forward with head up, listening for a single moment to what is going on around you for an opportunity to engage in something meaningful. What if you walked up to a counter with the sole purpose on engaging with the person on the other side of the 2 foot expanse? What if we did this every single day?

I first need to tell you that very recently I did the very opposite. Very soon after my grocery encounter with Lead Plastic Surgeon (see 2 posts ago) I went out for a full day of errands. My first stop was at a local home store where I was seeking out a specific gift. I came across a lady in the store whom I knew from my past, but I definitely couldn’t place. Admittedly, and maybe because of the recent surgeon encounter but more so because I couldn’t quite place her and I was skittish in that, I went about my shopping with no attempt to figure things out further. Mission accomplished, item purchased. Head to the car, and I drove to the big box store on my list several blocks away. Park my car, walk inside, grab a cart, and make my way to the household section where I find exactly what I need in what feels like record time. Mental high-five and I reached down to put it in my cart then I look up and there coming towards me pushing a cart full of poinsettias was the exact same Lady in the Christmas Red Jacket from the previous store. I literally startled in the moment, grabbed my cart and bolted in the other direction, then parked myself two aisles over for a moment thinking “Ok God. I know this is crazy that we would both be in the same store a SECOND time, but you and your timing are evident, however I simply can’t do the ‘hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?’ right now because I was still shaken up a little from the previous encounter.”  Even though it felt strange in acknowledging that openly and still walking away, I headed over to the checkout, loaded up my items, and off I went to THE grocery store for my final stop of the day. My entire drive over I was thinking to myself, stupid sally, but still knowing I just couldn’t do it today and I was also worked up going to the grocery store.

I parked my car and was feeling a little weary as I was heading back to the very place where my encounter with the surgeon had happened the week before, but I was on my A (ok, my B) game and I totally had this ready to head in/head out after grabbing just a few items needed for the week.  I was  walking up to the front of the store and past the glass windows when all of a sudden “knock, knock, knock”……I am think you have got to be kidding me!!! If I look up at that window and see my breast surgeon I am going to crawl back in my car and will live off of chips and fanta from the gas station the rest of my life. You have never seen someone so grateful to look up and see their next door neighbors and their smiling faces staring back. Hugs, catching up, hugs, and off I go in search of the few items I need, trying to be as quick as possible to get back home. Finally I am done with the super short list, and I’m off to grab my last item in the freezer section when I open the freezer door and am so embarrassed to have bumped the freezer door into the cart that has just pulled up next to me.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry….”

The exact same Christmas Red Jacket I had been running from at the 2 previous stores. “No problem at all” as she grabs the exact same sausage I just did and off she goes.

Now at that very moment I think to myself, “Ok, God, I get it.” 

And yet, I still grab my cart and turn and walk out the door. “Delayed obedience is still disobedience”, and in this case, “Disobedience is flat out Disobedience”.

I’ve been kicking myself ever since. I simply was in a funk that day and didn’t want the encounter, but I had been coming out of 3 very “in your face”, “Trust God’s Timing” moments, and I knew that I could put my faith in whatever and whomever he put in my path. Timing was very much on my radar, and I now had a 4^th encounter that I can’t even tell you what the outcome was to be, other than my disobedience. But as I had not yet put my 3^rd encounter to paper (screen), this 4^th encounter very much plays a role in just how much God is getting my attention in how timing is not haphazard. We can choose to see it His way, or we can choose to see it our way. It’s complete choice. But the ramification of choice are evident in many ways. 

There’s a boutique I like to go to every now and then and a few weeks ago I stopped in looking for a gift. It’s the holidays so I have been out shopping more so than usual. I stop in, find the perfect item, and head up to the counter, where a lovely lady stands helping the customer in front of me. They are chatting about this and that as they are ringing up the transaction. I notice the sales person has a lovely non-southern American accent (maybe Caribbean or Latin?) that I couldn’t quite place and a very hospitable personality with her guests. She has a flare for sales, but in a way that made you comfortable in your skin, and I’m quite positive that no matter what you purchase she’s going to leave you feeling fabulous. So immediately, you love her.  She’s confident in her craft and translates that back over the counter in a way that you find it seep its way back into you. So when the customer in front of me tidied up and I find myself in front of her, I find myself standing in front of her with a huge grin on my face.

Sales clerk: “Hello, welcome to Sequins (as we will call). Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Myself: “Yes, thank you.”

Sales clerk: “This color is going to look terrific on you with your hair color.”

I find that she is studying my face a little longer than usual as she is folding up the garment.

Sales clerk: “I’m sorry for staring. I think I know you from somewhere. Have we met before?”

Myself: “I don’t think so, but maybe…”

 (Immediately, I’m in tune because, well…this is not my first time to this rodeo) 

Sales clerk: “Do you happen to go to such and such?”

Myself: “No, I go to such and such.”

Myself: “No, Haven’t been there. I work at ___. Do you go there?”

Sales clerk: “No, how about?” (And once she said that I immediately knew.)

Myself: “No, but did you happen to know, Andy M.? He’s my brother.”

Her eyes got as wide as saucers, and I could tell the life was sucked out of her and she didn’t exactly know how to respond. It was as if she wanted to climb into the bag into which she was now placing the shirt I had just purchased and never come out again.

Sales Clerk: “Oh ma’am, I am so sorry. I didn’t know him very well, but I knew him enough to know that I am so sorry I brought all of this up and I guess I am recognizing you from all the pictures on social media from his story.”

She was terribly mortified she had brought this up, and I could tell immediately I had two choices here. I could feel the heartbreak I was feeling in that one moment of suddenly remembering my brother, or I could have this moment to have grace and mercy with this women who loosely knew my brother, was impacted by his story, is now mortified at recognizing me, and so very worried she has ruined my day.

Myself: “I could not be more delighted to meet you. I am Sally. I can’t tell you what it means to me to have this connection with you now (truth). Thank you for speaking up when you recognized me.”

And we finished up with our stuff, discussed a few more things, and I headed out to finish out my day.

As I climbed back in my car I sat for a few minutes staring at the windshield. This was the first time in 2 years I had come across someone in public who knew my brother, but didn’t also know me. I knew it would happen at some point. The awkward moment of “you know the story, I know the story, but we don’t know each other” I never knew how that would play out, but I knew it would have an impact on me and it did. And it would also bond us. It did. You know in a way that knowledge of a deep rooted story, trauma, loss, love, success, whatever. Those things bond you. But knowledge of those on great levels, can really bond you.

I now very much love walking into this store and seeing Rebecca. We are casual when we see each other. I don’t even know if she recalls me being “that story” or whatnot because I haven’t brought it back up (I’ve only seen her twice since and very briefly). But Rebecca on the other hand is grounded in my soul and a story in my healing. I don’t know if she listened to God’s prompting in saying “hey, I think I know you” but I do know it was God’s timing in placing us just so.

And I am acutely aware that there were 3 encounters with a very specific red jacket that I knowingly (and rather disobediently in my awareness) passed by last week. What if I was to be grounded in her soul? What if she needed healing? What if God simply needed me to obey? What if?

Take off the headphones. Look at your surroundings. Be purposeful in your listening and be present in your environment. We are not haphazard marbles bumping into each other by happenstance. We are God’s purposeful encounters waiting to unfold by him placing us exactly so and us choosing to play out what if. Who needs you to do your part? Who needs you to choose to be present? Who needs you to make yourself aware that you have a part in all of this? Simply ask yourself “What if” and just see all the possibilities of where that can go.






You can access previous posts HERE.