I have the luxury of working with
children with a cancer diagnosis (plus fatal genetic diseases). It’s amazing
how much you can glean about life simply by spending the day with a child, and
parents of such, who is facing death. They, both parent and child, are a
special breed of human. One that in a single hour of time when the diagnosis is
confirmed finds that their lens of life becomes a little clearer. A bit sharper
and more finely tuned. Pin point on a single subject and less blurred with the
mirage of previously worthy landscape. Some things fall completely off the
canvas all together to be replaced with more worthy brush strokes. The
all-consuming just became the trivial. The unimaginable becomes the
everything. And the people of your life circles suddenly become more
transparent and more intentionally chosen. It could be an incredible life
study, these subjects, that could glean a wealth of guidance and insight in
finding that “purpose” our culture is so notorious for “hamster wheeling”.
There contains a few examples of the human spirit going terribly wrong,
but there are oh so many examples of the human spirit doing life as purposed
when confronted with the uncertain.
It’s so easy to get caught up with
the to-do lists of this life, the struggles of day to day adulthood, but 1 hour
with these kids can bring you to your knees in awareness of what this life is
all about. You become better at doing life by observing them navigate theirs.
These are a few things I have learned in the process of brushing up against
their lives and by navigating it myself a few years back:
· IV poles are
made for decorating and riding on for the IV pole parade. Nothing more,
nothing less.
· Anything can
be made into an arts and crafts activity, including Band-Aids and IV sets.
· Bugs Bunny
Band-Aids are the only way to go.
· Folding 1000
origami cranes can give you “luck” when you think you are going to die.
And a 9 year old will spend every waking hour accomplishing it.
· A simple lab
result can make or break your day- and you hold your breath from the 30 minutes
from when it’s drawn until resulted.
· One sentence
from your healthcare provider can either devastate you or help get you through
one more hour.
· It’s totally
fashionable to wear two different colored socks and as many ruffles as your
tutu skirt will hold.
· You will
never know what you will choose until that very moment. No matter how much you
think you know yourself.
· In their
mind every cough or sneeze is a potential relapse. Don’t down play that.
· Time doesn’t
always heal wounds. Time does provide opportunity to make memories that help
sooth wounds.
· Bald heads
represent triumph- not old age.
· IV lines,
bruises, shunts, g-tubes, and rashes all at the same time can be badges of
honor.
· Getting the
gas bill in the mailbox when you know you have to pay for daily appointments
for the next month can bring you to tears.
· Parents
relish having one more day where the kid drops the puff cereal all over the
carpet.
· You can
never talk about poop too much.
· Elmo is
universal despite language barriers.
· You can
never eat too much ice cream.
· Marriages
can be lonely when chaos is in your realm. Not every marriage will survive.
Some come out stronger.
· All teenage
girls want to go to the prom…with hair. All teenage boys want to go to the prom
with a girl…with hair. Wigs have come a long way!
· Santa can
show up any time of the year and princesses are magical.
· Siblings
need time to process.
· Parents can
find delight in hearing their children fight, because at least that means they
are still alive.
· Healthcare
providers cry after work too. Tears don’t always make everything better.
· “Rainbow
Connection” is the absolute perfect song for a memorial service.
· Time at the
art table with play dough can motivate you to come back in for one more
infusion.
· You will put
purple dye on your tongue to kill infection if I successfully convince you it
is like you “just ate Barney”.
· Big clown
shoes make you laugh.
· Your job
isn't even 1/8th as "sucky" as you think it is, these parents would
give a million dollars to trade shoes with you.
· 20
medication doses in a day are 19 too many.
· This event
is a stress for parents that parallels little else. They won’t tell their
friends, but trust me.
· Choose
friends you actually want to endure life with.
· 3 a.m. is
the perfect time for a game of hungry hippo.
· Kids are
more resilient that adults will ever be.
· Even a
bottle of Tylenol can break the bank.
· You never
really have it all figured out.
· An hour with
a child facing premature death can teach you more about your own character than
anything else imaginable.
· Children can
vomit six times a day and still find a way to pull every topping of the pizza
slice in order and with purpose.
· Music
therapy with a paper cup, ukulele, or bongo drums can be the highlight of the
clinic appointment.
· You can never
give out or receive too many hugs.
· Giggling can
turn to tears and back to giggling in 20.4 seconds.
· Footed
pajamas carry spectacular cute factor when combined with a bald head.
· Surround
yourself with people who get it and want to positively influence your life.
Remove yourself from people who don’t.
· God doesn’t
always promise healing, but he does promise the opportunity for incredible
positive impact on those involved.
· An empty bed
is heart breaking.
· Grief is
life changing. So is laughter.
· Angels and
warriors come in all shapes and sizes.
· Being
surrounded by these kids is totally worth devoting your life to!
Click www.tradinginthetatas.blogspot.com to access other posts.
Click www.tradinginthetatas.blogspot.com to access other posts.
