Yesterday started super early. We were up at 4 to shower (the full scrub down with antibacterial scrub) before needing to arrive at the hospital by 5:15. Surgery was scheduled for 7:30. On the drive in, in the dark and passing very few cars, I was able to sit back and reflect on this moment. My sweet husband there beside me ready to dive in head first for another round of care giving. He's the best, you know, and this journey has been all the more do-able because of him and all he is/does for me. Today would be no different. He's been checking in with me all week asking me how I am holding up. He knew this road was going to be tough for me mentally again and he wanted to stay ahead of that. Surprisingly (or not as so many of you have been showering me in prayer) I was feeling very peaceful. Thank you for that, for getting me there!
In usual fashion pre-op took a while for me. I have the most ornery veins I inherited from my mother. Stick one and the vein blew. Stick two, successful but only enough to infuse one med to get me asleep. They would have to place a better line once they had me under. I consider this a win because last time it was 4 attempts. So we were already off to a good start. My sweet little nurse, Stella, was doing orientation, and I don't think she knew what she was getting when she signed up for my case. Next came the anesthesiology group. Also another win! Dr. Anesthesiology had taken extra time the previous day to read up on my history because he had heard of my mishaps with the medications and wanted to be proactive in coming up with a good plan, so he and his resident came in and sat down with me in advance to discuss what our options were. Historically, I am very difficult to get under and very difficult to bring back out. The last surgery it was 12 days before I had rid myself of the "medication stupor" which was really scary for me and Ron. So he was extremely thoughtful in his approached and wanted to involve my thoughts in the plan. I have a lot of medication allergies most of which are related to narcotics. I also have lot of nausea following procedures and yacking with stitches in your chest is a little less than entertaining. Needless to say, his proactive approach scored many points in my books and we have a very successful post op recovery as a result. And so far, not a single bit of nausea (thank you, Emend.)
Next came lead plastic surgeon with his trusty black sharpie pen. I charged him the usual fee and slipped the gown down for his ink up. Incision here, stitches here, scrape out tissue here, drain here, and so on. I've heard wind that he is very matter of fact and no-nonsense in his care giving, but it has been so great to see him now joking around with me and giving in to my prodding to lighten his demeanor. Yesterday, he cracked a joke about how if I just stood leaning sideways, this boob mishap wouldn't be so noticeable. And said when I am eighty, my boobs will only look 40. He's come a long way! Plan was now in place, boobs were Picasso-fied, one last visit with mom, dad, and Ron and I was off to the OR. I remember lying on the table and looking up to see the anesthesiology resident and thanking her for being there in a room full of men. I was expecting her to represent on my behalf. We gave a high-five then she strapped my arms down and introduced me to my versed infusion.
Surgery was about 2 hours and Ron met with Lead Plastic Surgeon afterwards for the full update. Everything went as planned there was just a little more scar tissue in the breast than he has imagined going in. He was able to take the implant out, put it in an antibiotic soak (the implant went to the pool!), scrape out all the scar tissue, then put the implant back in after it finished its swim. Who knew my implant would spend the day at the pool while I was passed out on a table? Now he is all back in place with sutures, glue, steri-strips, bandaging, and a new next door neighbor, my friend the drain. And life is back to post op recovery mode. After about 2 hours in recovery, I was able to go home. I recall Ron going out ahead of me to get the car, so the transport team loaded me up in a wheel chair and pushed me out into the waiting room and there stood my sister-in-law, Megan, Ron's mom, and Megan's boyfriend. For the first time that day I cried. I thought I would make it through with no tears, but seeing their faces and my mom and dad starring back at me reminded me the value of family and what purpose they serve when you find yourself in an aftermath. The love was more than I could hold and the tears just came. I will forgive those tears as they came from a very sweet moment! I was trying so hard not to cry this go around.
We got me home with the help of my mom and dad so Ron could run out and pick up prescriptions and some lunch for us. Ladies, keep this in mind, if you have surgery you need TWO people with you the day you get home. You are too groggy to go on errands with your caregiver and riding in the care is less than delightful, so you need someone to stay with you while he/she goes to get your post op antibiotics and such, Planning tip #423. Planning tip #424 - make them come back with ice cream. Your throat is going to be very sore from the intubation tube (for whatever reason this go round has been the toughest for me in that). Anyway, having mom and dad here that afternoon to help us just find up from down was super helpful for logistics and just for the emotional support that comes from people that love you.
I'm so lucky in that I have had terrific pain control this go round. Nothing is perfect, but it is a huge improvement from what we were expecting. The surgeon had warned Ron that because there was a lot of scar tissue removed, it could be painful later that day, but having very few nerve endings in my breast (there were removed with the initial mastectomy) has been a great treat for me. And guess what? I have virtually no pain at the drain site. WHAT!?!?!?! How can that even be? I had the absolute worse time with the drain the last three times I have had them, but this go round it is as if we are best friends! I can now love him for the healing he brings instead of loathing him for the pain he brought. I've named him Sir Gregory and we've become tolerant of each other. I will get some better pictures for you tomorrow, but below you can see the suction bulb on the end and how we drain the fluid out in a measuring cup. The fluid starts bright red and over several days will start to clear to a light tea color as the internal bleeding lessens. I'm grow able in that who ever would have thought I would find appreciation for a drain. Sir Gregory, you have earned a place at my table/boob. I'm also happy to report we have emptied it twice now and the volume is already decreasing and I haven't shed a single tear with that. The drains can be quite unbearable most of the time, so for me to be having this neutral experience with it this go round is only a testament to the power of your prayers. I had you praying for 2 specific things - the drains and my emotions. Both are soaring high!
So let's transition prayers to this now:
1) We need some sleep and I need to get some fluid out of my body. We were up at least once every 90 minutes (I stopped counting after my 7th trip) throughout the night with me having to go potty. I have so much fluid on board from all of the drugs, the IV fluids and my general ability to retain water. Last night, my arms and hands had swollen up to the point that I couldn't bend my fingers without a lot of pain. So we are working hard to get the fluid out...and that means multiple trips to the potty around the clock. Well because I am not coherent per se, Ron has to go with me. And because I can't use my arms, he has to dress and undress me for the potty trips. Somehow we are not only civil, but joyful this morning after very little sleep. I love that about us.
2) Pray for the pain control to stay so well managed. I really couldn't imagine it being any better considering what all happened to the breast yesterday. It is swollen, but that will lessen over time. And my hands are still really swollen today, so pray for all that pain to stay manageable.
Tomorrow is a big day in that the surgical bra gets to come off. We will take the bra off, remove the top set of bandages, and inspect the incisions underneath followed by a shower. Ok, this is where I will be at risk in having some tears flow, but I am feeling optimistic! I will get you pictures tomorrow of the surgical bra and bandaging if I can capture it tastefully. And also of the drain incision so you can have a mental picture (those of you that may need this information in the future,)
I feel sure this post is all over the place with words and such. My apologies for that, but it is what I could get on the screen at this current time with these meds on board. Most of all I wanted to update you since so many of you reached out to me yesterday and I couldn't get back to you in real time. Your love is so evident and that is what gets us through mastectomy! Thank you from Ron and I and boob 1 and Boob 3.0 (the surgeon said 2.3 wouldn't suffice after all this effort on his part).
Love you all and more updates tomorrow.
Click www.tradinginthetatas.blogspot.com to access other posts.
Click www.tradinginthetatas.blogspot.com to access other posts.
