I guess I made a snafu on my part. Many of you have let me know I left a crucial notation out of my last post. You know how you plan out your task, make a check box to do list (though you may find it funny that I draw a little box next to my task, but when the task is complete I actually cross out the task. I never said I don’t have issues), then work your way logically down the list until all is accomplished. In the end you have the perfectly planned 20th year high school reunion complete with “guess that student” games, burgundy and gold decorations hanging from every nook and cranny, sequin sprinkles placed on each table top, and the cutest little mascot shaped mints and 1993 shaped cookies on the welcome counter. 6 pm arrives and Voila! You have a DJ, an eclectic décor, but you have no guests! After racking your brain, consulting your to-do list, and phoning a friend, you quickly come to the realization that you never mailed out the invites. There they sit in a neatly arranged tower on your desk in your home office. See, it happens to all of us. You get busy with your best intentions, and number 51 on your to-do list of 100 is left undone. Well, you guys didn’t miss a beat and were very quick to let me know of my snafu. I should hire one of you as my assistant (Erika, send me your resume) to keep me on track and out of the gully.
Well drum roll and spotlight please….. Item # 51 happens to be “April 28th early morning”. Yes, that is when Boob 1 shall meet his maker (Lead Plastic Surgeon) once again for a little reunion party. Lead Plastic Surgeon is probably a bit more excited about the meeting than Boob 1. Boob 1 doesn’t get to pick out a fancy little party dress like most of us do for a reunion. Instead, he gets to make his grand appearance in a flesh colored birthday suit. Don’t people have bad dreams about that very thing??? Walking into a room with all your glory out there and NOT loving every minute of it. I’m planning to talk Boob 1 through his anxiety and remind him that Boob 2.2 will be right there by his side the entire time also in all his glory! Boob 1 will have a bosom buddy right there along for the ride. Now, more importantly who is going to help ME through my anxiety? Well you will be happy to know I have very little anxiety about this. Virtually none. Maybe because 28 days is a long ways away in the whole scheme of things and there is much to do unrelated to this procedure between now and then. Also, it helps knowing it is outpatient. No overnight stay just like my reconstruction surgery. But the benefit being very light sedation or maybe even just numbing – though I see myself advocating for a bit more than that. We can compare it to get a cavity repaired, right? But seriously, do I really want to be aware of someone repeatedly shoving injections into my Imposter? I see me watching the needles come toward my chest and me, out of instinct, whacking his hand away with such force that the syringes fly in slow motion through the air landing in the emerald green eye of the poor OR nurse who got called in unexpectedly last minute after a night out on the town to cover the surgery. Suddenly, all attention turns to her now deflated eye and Boob 1 is left to be rescheduled with VERY heavy sedation. Ah, no. I can say that with quite a bit of certainty that I want to do this once and only once. Oh yeah, and I’m equally concerned for the nurse’s eye.
There you have it. Item #51 is no longer missing and those of your with OCD that need the list 100% complete like I do. You may now rest your weary head with satisfaction. And my apologies for the snafu on my part. Thank you much for caring enough to ask for the missing piece.
