This is a trivial thing compared to anything else in the mastectomy process, but it should be mentioned because you won't suspect it in foresight. And it catches you off guard. Trust me, I am in for seven times now and I still have the exact same emotion. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. So this is what you need to know, no matter how many times you have stitches in your boob, it never feels normal. I don't necessarily mean physically, honestly you can't feel the actual stitches. Remember, early on, you have very little feeling your breast after the initial malignancy. It take some time (if at all) for feeling to start to return. and it doesn't return for everyone. So this isn't an aspect of how the stitches "feel", but rather how you feel about the stitches. It's just not normal to be walking around with stitches in your boob. Sure you have stitches in your knee from the tumble you took off your bike as a kid, no problem. Kisses on the boo boo from your mom and little ice cream and you are good to go. I realize there may be a little obsession with it and the bandaid as kids do, but as an adult, you rarely if ever think about the stitches in your knee. Your boob however, well, a little different story.
First you constantly "think" you feel the tug of the stitches. no matter how big or small the incision. I would say my very first incision (for the mastectomy itself) was/is between 4 and 5 inches long. Not a trivial incision and totally reasonable that it would be on your mind almost every minute of every day for the time period your stitches are in place (even if you have a glued incision instead of actual stitches). What surprised me though was that 7 procedures later (6 surgeries, 1 biopsy), and despite this new incision now being only about 1 inch (a far cry in size from the original incision), It still sits on my mind a good bit of the time. Particularly in the shower. Particularly when changing clothes, particularly when the bandage comes on and off, but even just as I am going about my day, it is there in my mind. Additionally, while it is in MY mind, I also totally assume YOU can see straight through my shirt, my bra, my bandage and can see every stitch in all it's glory. It's an absurd thought to think YOU can see my stitches, but it goes to show how abnormal your thinking can be while walking around with stitches in your boob. Ron once said to me "I wish I could understand why a stitch can get you all out of sorts". I get it, it's weird that it can always be on your mind. But it is. And I don't have to be able to explain it for it to be fact, but it is something that I think you should be aware of for when/if you find yourself in those mastectomy, reconstruction or biopsy shoes. You aren't strange, you are just getting through it. And there is no shame there. (You will be surprised how much stuff sits on your mind, but you certainly in foresight don't expect stitches to fall in to that category).
But guess what!? The stitches come out tonight after a day of work (or came out today depending on when you are reading this) and the thoughts of stitches forever being in the back of my mind will be gone with the stitches. And that, my friends, makes me a happy gal. Because with those stitches go the thoughts of biopsy too. It's truly a "throw it all out in the trash" kind of day. And life gets to go back to "Pre-Boob-Lump" mode, complete with it's on issues, but different issues, and sometimes it's fun to focus on something other than boob.
Now, I won't lie to you, all 8 hours of my day today at work will be laden with the dread of stitch removal. I want them out, but don't want to actually be part of the experience of their actual removal. I loathe these things and I detest having stitches taken out. I can take you back to my very first memory of stitch removal when I was six (cleft lip repair), and I can still feel that thread being pulled through my lip. It makes me want to yack. No yacking today. Easy cheesy (and a lot of head holding). By the way, I have no trouble at all watching YOU get your stitches, it's getting my own stitches out that cause me to lose the lunch. Stay tuned.
(This post is focused with the mastectomy reader in mind. I realize it is less applicable to the average reader. You are a trooper to still be following me. I would have left me a long time ago. Smile. Also, I rarely share pictures because it's the boob and tastefulnees matters. Tried to be tasteful here so you can have an idea what to expect if you have a biopsy. Note, biopsies differ greatly so this is only one of many possibilities.)
To access previous blog posts - click HERE.
First you constantly "think" you feel the tug of the stitches. no matter how big or small the incision. I would say my very first incision (for the mastectomy itself) was/is between 4 and 5 inches long. Not a trivial incision and totally reasonable that it would be on your mind almost every minute of every day for the time period your stitches are in place (even if you have a glued incision instead of actual stitches). What surprised me though was that 7 procedures later (6 surgeries, 1 biopsy), and despite this new incision now being only about 1 inch (a far cry in size from the original incision), It still sits on my mind a good bit of the time. Particularly in the shower. Particularly when changing clothes, particularly when the bandage comes on and off, but even just as I am going about my day, it is there in my mind. Additionally, while it is in MY mind, I also totally assume YOU can see straight through my shirt, my bra, my bandage and can see every stitch in all it's glory. It's an absurd thought to think YOU can see my stitches, but it goes to show how abnormal your thinking can be while walking around with stitches in your boob. Ron once said to me "I wish I could understand why a stitch can get you all out of sorts". I get it, it's weird that it can always be on your mind. But it is. And I don't have to be able to explain it for it to be fact, but it is something that I think you should be aware of for when/if you find yourself in those mastectomy, reconstruction or biopsy shoes. You aren't strange, you are just getting through it. And there is no shame there. (You will be surprised how much stuff sits on your mind, but you certainly in foresight don't expect stitches to fall in to that category).
But guess what!? The stitches come out tonight after a day of work (or came out today depending on when you are reading this) and the thoughts of stitches forever being in the back of my mind will be gone with the stitches. And that, my friends, makes me a happy gal. Because with those stitches go the thoughts of biopsy too. It's truly a "throw it all out in the trash" kind of day. And life gets to go back to "Pre-Boob-Lump" mode, complete with it's on issues, but different issues, and sometimes it's fun to focus on something other than boob.
Now, I won't lie to you, all 8 hours of my day today at work will be laden with the dread of stitch removal. I want them out, but don't want to actually be part of the experience of their actual removal. I loathe these things and I detest having stitches taken out. I can take you back to my very first memory of stitch removal when I was six (cleft lip repair), and I can still feel that thread being pulled through my lip. It makes me want to yack. No yacking today. Easy cheesy (and a lot of head holding). By the way, I have no trouble at all watching YOU get your stitches, it's getting my own stitches out that cause me to lose the lunch. Stay tuned.
(This post is focused with the mastectomy reader in mind. I realize it is less applicable to the average reader. You are a trooper to still be following me. I would have left me a long time ago. Smile. Also, I rarely share pictures because it's the boob and tastefulnees matters. Tried to be tasteful here so you can have an idea what to expect if you have a biopsy. Note, biopsies differ greatly so this is only one of many possibilities.)
To access previous blog posts - click HERE.
