It was lying midway through the stack of mail, sandwiched between
an overpriced clothing catalog and a reminder to schedule a termite
inspection. But I saw it immediately – the over sized oblong envelope with royal
blue writing. I can recognize that envelope a mile away by now, yet I still
hold out hope each time that it contains an invitation to a magical masquerade ball,
or a collection of forgotten snapshots from a recent trip. Yet it is never
that. Not even once is it that! The return address immediately betrays the
sender. Division of Plastic Surgery. Woe is me.
Immediately, my funk returned. I do this every stinking time-
the dread, the loathing, the sulking. I don’t know why I let this affect me
like it does, but it seeps in from the outer regions of Pluto and finds itself
right in the forefront of my mind. It only took the arrival of post-surgery
documents to send me bee-lining straight from delightful to disgruntled. I really
wanted to overachieve and postpone disgruntled until the night before surgery,
but alas, the dang mailing. I am beyond grateful that I spent the last 5
months, for the most part anyway, putting this 6th surgery out of my
mind. I worked very hard to claim life in that very moment instead of dread of
what was coming in early August. I definitely had “most improved” in that
aspect compared to previous surgeries, but the mailing came super early this go
round and now here I sit dreading August 6th as if it contains the
plague. Boob 2.2 will now be Boob 2.3. Ridiculous, I know. One, who names there
implants? And two, ridiculous that two surgeries turned into six. (You can find
the background for this upcoming surgery # 6 here (January 2015) and in conclusion here (February 2015). If you haven’t been keeping up, I don’t blame you a bit.) But I am very much
aware that God is still the God of disgruntled and he will meet me exactly
where I am. Ron is still the king of
best caregiver ever and he is all geared up for shoving pillows here and
peaking under bandages there. And I am still the queen of distraction (ok, I totally
over sell that attribute cause I’m really not great at that at all) but
distraction is on the to-do list all the same…along with buying gauze, and
alcohol swabs, and oh I don’t know, maybe ice cream!
The surgery mocks me in my waking hours. The pesky little
sucker drain that now consumes me all because of an oblong envelope arriving
several weeks early NOT containing an invitation to a magical masquerade ball. RETURN TO SENDER!
Double mastectomies almost seem common place now. Sandra Lee, food network host, underwent mastectomy just this week. And there barely goes a month that I don't hear of another person adding mastectomy to their medical list. Celebrities have made the mastectomy discussion more common place and the physical effects a little less taboo. Angelina Jolie braved that path publicly last year. Christina Applegate in 2008. Comedian Wanda Sykes and TV host Giuliana Rancic in 2011. Kathy Bates 2012. And then there is Sharon Osbourne, also in 2012, who chose mastectomy for prophylaxis after diagnosis with the BRCA gene. The list is growing not only for breast cancer but for prevention alike. No one is immune to its grasps it seems, yet we all find ourselves shocked when it lands on our doorstep. My heart gets a little heavier with each new announcement. I know how those moments feel, and I know how mundane life becomes quite un-mundane, if even for a few days, but more likely for many months after you emerge from the OR room. So for those of us not in the limelight of fame, mastectomy seems a little more do-able because of their open discussions of such. But at the same time, I want to shout it from the rooftops that it is the stories of the not so famous, not only of the famous, that better get me through mastectomy moments. These stories are a bit more relate-able for me with similar circumstance and day-to-day events and challenges. (Please know, I'm not saying celebrities are not every day people, I'm just saying they have resources and access to options that may vary from some of the rest of us. So their journey is different, though similar, even if in minute ways.) I imagine what wonders we could do if the celebrity partnered up with the not-so-famous to share both sides of this life. Mastectomy just may have a few less scars when approached with knowledge from someone who traveled the road before you.
And with that we keep trucking on and I see this next surgery in my headlights. Hopefully a little wiser with each passing one.
Double mastectomies almost seem common place now. Sandra Lee, food network host, underwent mastectomy just this week. And there barely goes a month that I don't hear of another person adding mastectomy to their medical list. Celebrities have made the mastectomy discussion more common place and the physical effects a little less taboo. Angelina Jolie braved that path publicly last year. Christina Applegate in 2008. Comedian Wanda Sykes and TV host Giuliana Rancic in 2011. Kathy Bates 2012. And then there is Sharon Osbourne, also in 2012, who chose mastectomy for prophylaxis after diagnosis with the BRCA gene. The list is growing not only for breast cancer but for prevention alike. No one is immune to its grasps it seems, yet we all find ourselves shocked when it lands on our doorstep. My heart gets a little heavier with each new announcement. I know how those moments feel, and I know how mundane life becomes quite un-mundane, if even for a few days, but more likely for many months after you emerge from the OR room. So for those of us not in the limelight of fame, mastectomy seems a little more do-able because of their open discussions of such. But at the same time, I want to shout it from the rooftops that it is the stories of the not so famous, not only of the famous, that better get me through mastectomy moments. These stories are a bit more relate-able for me with similar circumstance and day-to-day events and challenges. (Please know, I'm not saying celebrities are not every day people, I'm just saying they have resources and access to options that may vary from some of the rest of us. So their journey is different, though similar, even if in minute ways.) I imagine what wonders we could do if the celebrity partnered up with the not-so-famous to share both sides of this life. Mastectomy just may have a few less scars when approached with knowledge from someone who traveled the road before you.
And with that we keep trucking on and I see this next surgery in my headlights. Hopefully a little wiser with each passing one.
