I've said it many times before. There is something about a cancer center waiting room. You can do the best of interior design, the most brilliant placement of soft lighting, and the perfect combination of artwork and still, your heart skips a beat when you walk in. It's been almost a year since I've been in that waiting room (for a visit, I am often there for work) and it did its thing, changed my mood.Mine was the last appointment of the day so the waiting room was deserted minus one couple also waiting their turn, so the calm of the wait brought me back to center and away from the initial heart gallop. Lead Breast Surgeon was as delightful as usual. She has an almost supernatural ability to put someone at ease. I didn't necessarily need easing, but she certainly maintains status quo. I told her if you are going to have a breast lump, you might as well enjoy the great people along the way. Present company included.
The appointment went exactly as planned. Strip down, bare a boob, touch and feel, get dressed again. She agreed there is something there that shouldn't be there and in her supernatural ability told me she wasn't worried yet. I said "okay then, I won't worry either." To which she responded, "but let's image it." She picked up the phone right then and there and called over to ultrasound and landed me an appointment tomorrow morning. I chuckled at that and made her promise me she still wasn't worried. I pinned her down. "What is on the differential?" I guess she was expecting that question cause she dove right in with a response. "I'm very hopeful t is one of 2 things: A collection of fat necrosis (dying fat cells),or scar tissue." (Us gals have been laughing that never before have we been so willing to pray for more fat! LOL). I said "and what else?". She said, "well it could be the negative things: a mass of malignancy or fibroma. If it looks like a mass on ultrasound, we will biopsy it. But let's just assume it won't come to that." See, she is awesome at putting someone at ease. I had to push her to list the last 2 because she wanted to leave on a high note. Despite her super optimistic approach to medicine, I really do think she is leaning toward fat necrosis, or else she has an awesome poker face (and I think she does, but that is besides the point). So we will continue to pray for fat and for a good night sleep and see what comes tomorrow. Oh, and while you are praying, I have the nastiest of respiratory infections going on right now too and could use a pick-me-up from that. It's really pulling me down, and I don't want to be down. I want to be up.
Funny story. During show and tell she says, "I really can't believe how great this all looks (refering to my reconstruction). You've had 6 surgeries and I was expecting to come in and see a railroad of scars. Sally, you should be thrilled. (she went on to remark about my cleavage but I will save face and spare you those details)!" So there you have it, we have a thrilling breast job! I could use that good news. I chuckled a little saying "well he (Lead Plastic Surgeon) told me he was going to do his best work ever! (well I made him promise that)". She said "speaking of him, do you know that we now refer to the procedure we did on you as 'The McCollum? (mastectomy, wait 2 weeks, start reconstruction)". I said "huh?????" "Yep, that was the first time I had done that (wait to do recon) in prophylactic mastectomy." I don't know if I should be thrilled or not, but it totally got a laugh out of me. So if someone says to you, "do you want the McCollum and all the works?" Know you may be "thrilled" with the results. (Chuckle!) I reminded her I did have 4 more surgeries after that so the jury is still out. She reminded me "The McCollum" was still a huge success.
Oh the joys and ins and outs of mastectomy. It's never boring.
Ultrasound tomorrow. Pray for fat, or scar tissue is fine too if you want to overachieve. and pray for this respiratory infection to resolve too. Might as well shoot big! Hoping to have good news to report back to you in a few days.
Ta-ta for now!
To access previous blog posts - click HERE.
