March 23, 2017 - If I end up losing it all

"If  I end up losing it all, but in the process still gain God, it is worth every minute." - Unknown

I’ve had this quote on my social media wall for years now. It’s my profile quote and has sat there speaking whatever it speaks on the side bar as “my statement”. We all have something, don’t we.  A verse.  A quote.  A pep talk. Something we keep on our mirror or tucked away in our bible, on our desk, flashed on our screens to say what we need to say exactly when we need to say it. Some of our mantras are statements placed as pep talks to ourselves when we are feeling exactly at our lowest. A little mental boost to pick ourselves up right when we need it (maybe our favorite bible verse). Other times our mantras are perfectly placed words proudly touting exactly what we have conquered (our marathon stickers on our cars or words we truly live by). Sometimes our words are perfectly positioned statements not to ourselves, but to the exact person across from us that we want to read (think of our political posts we carefully posted on our walls). What do you have? Bring it to mind. This one above for myself, it’s got me wondering. There’s nothing like a life altering event in your life to test your life quote. 

"If  I end up losing it all, but in the process still gain God, it is worth every minute."    Hummmm...

If you are a Christ follower and you do what you claim you do, put Christ above everything else, a life altering event will really come to test that commitment.  We are so careful to claim that we have our faith in Christ, and we do…right up until the moment our earth comes shattering down. When is the last time your faith has been tested? I don’t mean run of the mill I had a rough day testing. Though those days serve their purpose in teaching us to run the race of life. I mean when is the last time you had to dig deep and put it all on the line and trust God in your circumstance? Think back to that moment. How did you do? Were we willing to give it all up and give our all to God? Few, if any of us, have the Abraham moments of God calling us to the altar to lay down our sons (Genesis 22 – The story of Abraham and Isaac; Check it out. ). But let’s think about it. Maybe more of us have that circumstance than we realize.

Are we not called to give ourselves, our situations, our spouses, our children, our everything up to God on a daily basis? Are we not in every circumstance called to give ourselves to Christ and therefore choose his will for our lives over our own and that means in every circumstance, be willing to lose everything in order to gain God? We have to be careful in how we interpret that. We live in a fallen world. Humanity sinned. Therefore we live with the curse of sin in the world. The grace is Christ saved us in the end if we choose to believe he died in our place and choose to put our faith in Him. But as we are still on this earth we fall prey to choice and the outcomes of choice. There is cancer, there is horrific circumstance, there is the outcomes of choice, there is divorce, there is heart break, the list goes on and on, but as we find ourselves in circumstance, do we not find ourselves in relationship with God and therefore in the opportunity for the glory of God to be seen in circumstance? But how many of us truly see life that way? An opportunity despite circumstance to grow deeper in relationship with Christ.  And not only an opportunity, but at times, a calling. Ask Abraham.

Do we look at our circumstances as an opportunity (or even a calling?) for our relationship with God? Or do we get so caught up in the “woe is me” that we can’t see past that. Easy enough to say “yes” in the simple hardships of life. But what about the doozies. Can we really say we can walk away from everything for God, better yet that we would CHOOSE to lose it all for him? Or when not by choice and we find that we have lost it “all” do we find glory in God despite that?  It’s hard to say because so few of us have been in that circumstance before. But maybe we have been closer than we think. Maybe if we look at it differently we will see it better.

Reaction may be a good litmus test. Do we spend our lives seeing life as happening to us? If I look back at my life and see birth defect happened to me, lymphoma happened to me, prolonged singleness happened to me, so-and-so-broke-up-with-me happened to me, she-is-mad-at-me happened to me, mastectomy happened to me, fibrosis happened to me, Andy’s death happened to me….well, my whole life becomes about life happening TO me and me absorbing life’s crushing moments.  It could almost feel like a non-stop journey in life’s washing machine. And I’ve had the most beautiful life. What about the really difficult lives out there that are not so “beautiful” on society’s scale?  Let’s just look at one of those moments. I remember when I first was choosing mastectomy. There was a moment when I was driving in my car down the interstate when I really got angry. I was thinking how in the world after having already done lymphoma and chosen to go the radiation route instead of other treatment routes, that by now choosing that I now needed a double mastectomy. There was this bitterness. It was a moment of “God, you brought me out of lymphoma to THIS?” It was a ridiculous irrational isolated moment that spurred from anger. It served it’s purposed in my processing of thoughts, but in that moment driving down the interstate, I couldn’t see past yet another hardship in life happening to me. Do we find that we get so caught up in the bitterness of life happening TO us that we can’t see past what God wants to do IN and THROUGH us?  What about this. Fast forward now almost 5 years, if I had known then just how much mastectomy would change my relationship with God, with my husband, with my family, hey even with you that are reading this, well, I would have had a totally different thought process on that interstate. It wouldn’t have been another bitter “life is happening to me” moment. What if I in foresight, in faith, have a reaction of God drawing me through life and into him it  and it becomes this molding process of not shattering (life happening to me) in circumstance but creating (bring me through life) in circumstance? I think this become equally as crucial in hindsight looking back on circumstances of how I know view mastectomy in my rear view. Did it happen to me as an event that created another hammer dent in my timeline chiseling away at Sally? Or did God draw me through it as he grew me closer to the people around me and in relationship with him as he continues to create his version of Sally?

 Life happening to me is someone holding a hammer and beating away at a once whole Sally. God bring me through life is a Sally being built from the bottom up by the master creator.  Being built is a shaking process, but at its center is a strong hold.  Sometimes it is the difference between going forward and standing still. It’s a moment of hardship instead of a moment of absolute devastation. It most certainly separates happiness from joy. And it is the provider of hope instead of constant reactive searching.  Looking at some of my tougher moments in life I bet if I drill down deep, and I’m brutally honest with myself, I can determine if God truly is the center of it all.  Do I view those moments as life happening to me, or life happening through me with Him giving me life and purpose from the center out? I really do think there is a difference. And I really do think it’s a pretty good litmus test of how we view God and his role in our lives when the going gets tough.

Do you find your world crumbling when you find yourself in the middle of chaos? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken? Do you find you whole world crumbling when you miscarry? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken? Do you find you whole world crumbling when you find yourself living pay check to pay check or even without a pay check? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken? Do you find you whole world crumbling in infidelity? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken? Do you find you whole world crumbling when you _____ (fill in your circumstance? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken? Do you find you whole world crumbling when you are called to take it to the altar? Or do you find yourself still centered and only your surroundings shaken?

Do I find my whole world crumbling when I lose my brother? Or do I find myself still centered and only my surroundings shaken?  

You see it’s not just about being ok on the other side. When have we ever not been ok, for the most part? It’s about finding your true center. Do we speak our mantras and post them on our walls and mirror, or do we truly live them when life comes to a fast halt? Will it be worth losing it all? Do i truly believe that? On some levels, mine was tested this year. I have some re-centering to do.  I’d say, that is exactly what should have happened: drawing nearing to him in the process.  Don’t be afraid to admit you need to re-center. And also don’t wait for your life altering moment to do it. Those will come, so you might as well start now and get a head start.

"If I end up losing it all, but in the process still gain God, it is worth every minute."    That was a bold statement for me to quote several years ago.  Learning it takes more than talking the talk.

James 4:8 - Draw Near to God and he will draw near to you…

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