June 22, 2016 - It could change your everything

I was running late. The meeting would be starting in no time, so I really needed to hurry.  I grabbed up my stuff and out into the hall I went and soon after realized I had way too much stuff to carry having left my book bag back at my desk. I shuffled it all around in my arms over and over again and quickly realized the tiny stuff (the credit card, the note) simply had to go elsewhere. Up until now I’ve not been one to repurpose the bra for a pocket but when you find yourself in a bind and in clothes with no pockets… I reluctantly decided on my bra.

I stopped in route to grab a drink, a snack, and some napkins/utensils, and after paying for the items, I returned the card and now two more items (receipts and napkins) back to my bra for safe keeping and off I went to the meeting. Now mind you, this was mid-day and after the meeting I attended two more, finished out my day seeing patients, and then gathered all my belongings and made my way to the car and back home. I got home, fed the cat, made dinner, did odds and ends and then several hours later was ready for bed. I went to the bedroom and took off my clothes, took off my bra….and literally about scared myself to death when the now long forgotten items started tumbling out of my bra and noisily onto the bedroom floor.  Who walks around for 5+ hours having no memory or sensation of several items shoved into your bra during a moment of haste? See, I told you I couldn’t feel anything.  Four years later and I still have large portions of boob 1 and 2.2 that can’t feel a thing. It’s comical if you let it be. Lesson learned: Choose taking your bag, no matter how cumbersome, every single time.  

Today was simply a mastectomy kind of day. The forgotten items in the “bra stuffing”. Earlier in the day I ran into my surgeon who I haven’t seen around the office since my last surgery 9 months ago. After my meeting, a lady in the elevator asked me if I could point her in the direction of the breast clinic as she was running late for her follow-up mammogram.  Thing after thing today. Some days it’s nothing. Other days it’s like the whole world is there to remind you. I’ve decided both days serve their purpose.

A little nugget from today? My coworker brought a little nugget right to my doorstep for the taking: “I’ve decided I am going to start being selective about what I let in my home.” We had been talking about downsizing our lives. Purging our closets, uncluttering our drawers. I was thinking very literally about the discussion. Having just moved earlier this year, I was acutely in tune with the tasks, both emotional and physical, of unloading stuff from our closets. I simply didn’t want all the stuff I had collected over the years packed up in another box only to be stored once again in another attic. I wanted less. She had recently gone through a similar task of pulling things out of the closet and setting them aside for donation. We discussed a little while longer about duplicated items our cabinets held and the freedom found in tossing them in the donation box. The day got busy and then the conversation was abandoned.

Or so I thought. As the day went wound its way forward, her words hung close. “I’ve decided I am going to start being selective about what I let in my home.” Hum. Those were simple words uttered in benign declaration of a literal thought. You know, I need less sweaters. Who needs more books? A statement of the typical clutter of excess found in the American home.  But on my way home as I was navigating traffic (with credit cards shoved in my bra!) those words dug deeper. They started to eat at me in that maybe each syllable carried not only literal implications of this shoe or that kitchen ware tucked in the nook of that cupboard, but what if there was a deeper implication of that statement. And I found myself wondering if literal is what she meant. Was there a deeper meaning in her words? What if I truly did carefully dissect and evaluate each item (literally or figuratively) that came through the doors of my home. What if I carefully thought through in a way of saying “by bringing this item (or thought, or whatnot) into my home, what would the ramifications be”?  Do I care enough about my home and marriage that I assign this degree of thought to the things I introduce for each?  I know someone who took internet out of their home because the husband didn’t want the temptation of pornography in his life . If he has an email to send, he waits until he get into the office to send it. He needs to look something up online? His wife offers to look it up for him on her smart phone. To my knowledge, he doesn’t have a pornography addiction, but he loves his marriage so much that he doesn’t want to risk it. He cares more about protecting his vows than he does the convenience of life online in their home. Powerful, huh? I know plenty of other people who have a rule of not riding in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex. While there would be no mal-intent on their part, they value the appearance of their marriage more than they do the convenience of getting a lift to the meeting. They don’t want to risk someone else seeing them and starting the rumor of “I saw Johnny with Lucy….” We all know how the appearance of things can destroy a reality when placed in the wrong hands. So while you sit there reading saying to yourself “Sally, these are pretty drastic examples!”,  I find myself now wanting to reply with “are they?”

What are we bringing or allowing  into our homes (our lives, our minds, our hearts) that we shouldn’t be? What are we allowing to come in that is now an unintended risk to the things we hold dear? Got kids? Oh that list probably just tripled. What are we addicted to that are destroying our finances? One more pair of shoes? What words are we allowing to be said in the confines of our home that are destroying the self confidence of our pre-teen? What words are going unsaid that portray to our children that we must bottle up our emotions? Got teenage sons? I’d say we need to take heavy inventory. Do you really need cable TV? Got teenage gals? Yep, choose wisely! Are you single? How do you need to structure your home to preserve yourself?  I imagine each “risk” is going to be different for each of us, but I would say the “call for action” lies within us all and most often remains untaken.

If I were to search my heart and search the atmosphere in my home I know without a doubt that I could be more selective. More protective! It’s not always our intent that matters. It’s the outcome. The perception. The onlookers that can roll right over your reality, and I find that without being proactive to protect our home, we just may find ourselves in a place we never intended to be. You don’t usually see disaster coming your way. You just one day find yourself there. You also don’t always consciously choose with disaster in mind.  It’s a subtle temptation that one day plops itself from un-tempted to tempted in no second flat. I think we now live in a society and a cultural environment where we just may have to, at times, choose the drastic choice in order to protect our home and all we hold dear.  In what ways should I choose inconvenience in an effort to put my marriage to my spouse first? In what ways do I need to change thoughts and behaviors to uphold the sanctity of family? How should I better model what comes in and goes out of my home. We need to be proactive, not reactive, and we just may need to be drastic because everything could be hanging in the balance and we don’t even know it yet. And if you don’t know where to start, start where I am: Douse your home in prayer. Pray that you choose to be selective. Pray that you aren’t afraid to make the drastic choice, if need be. Pray that you are able to see the risks by looking through the eyes of your spouse and children. Pray that you don’t consider yourself immune to the risks. Pray, pray, pray! And then start evaluating your front door and what you are going to allow to come through it. Just because something knocks doesn’t mean you have to answer, and just maybe closing a door on it could change your everything.

“I’ve decided I am going to start being selective about what I let in my home.”

Psalm 51:10: Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.









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