I officially live in Durham now. I wasn't really expecting that when we started our house search, but we all know sometimes what we expect is now always what we get. I don't miss the old house at all, and I don't know how that is even possible. Well, I do miss my garden tub, but honestly that is about it. And that is only because I was in the habit of using it every night before bed, especially in the winter. The rest of it now is just a house we used to live in. God sure did his thing there. I was really mourning the house the day we moved out and then it was just done. I moved, and I moved on. And that is saying a lot because I am currently living in a not so happy go lucky renovation zone. We had to move upstairs because we are prepping the downstairs for the hardwood installation happening next week. After that, we can bring furniture out of our loft and back into the downstairs area. I honestly feel like I am living in a cardboard box in the interim...and I guess I am. You will recall we tried to install the week we moved in, but they arrived the wrong color (Yes, Pat, I am still hearing you to stay focused and encouraged). Well, what a blessing that fiasco turned into with us finding replacement hardwoods for a 3rd of the price. So now instead of flooring the master bedroom, we are now able to do the whole downstairs for the same price. Score! BUT, it now has me living in a reno zone, and let me say that gets old very quick. Every single night it is something. We are currently pulling out all of the quarter round so that this weekend we can rip out all of the carpet, vinyl, and hardwoods currently in place. To say I am tired would be an understatement. We are still running our full work days at work, then coming home to 4 or 5 more hours of house prep. EVERY NIGHT! My arms are tired. My legs are tired. My soul is tired. Yesterday, I was in a rant about how exhausting this all is. Yesterday, I needed to vent. Yesterday I vented a lot. Today, well today, I am just here getting it all done. We are on this urgent timeline because Ron's shoulder surgery is coming up in 2 weeks. After that he is in a sling for 8 weeks, and "out of commission" for 3 months total. So we have these 2 weeks to get it all done. The clock is ticking.
God continues to just "show up" in all of this. We were able to get this amazing price on hardwoods after our mishap. We no longer think about the old house. We were given a bunch of left over tile from the people who bought our old house (also downsizing; also delightful people; also crazy how we have gotten to know and enjoy them) so we have enough free tile to upgrade the vinyl in our bathrooms and laundry room. So while I am ubber stressed with the renovations and the exhaustion there of, I am still able to vividly see how God chose all of this for us. It simply makes it a little easier to get through. And believe me, I will take any extra ease I can get! Last week, I lugged over 30 boxes up to the second floor. We painted ceilings. We cleared out the garage. And tonight, I get to paint new quarter round to install on the hardwoods. Note my feigned excitement. I am very frustrated with the day to day of this move, but I have peace in the big picture of knowing we are supposed to be here. Life will slow back down soon, and I will one day find myself with no house installation to do. Tonight as I climb into bed with everything aching like the forty year old that I am (but the imposters aren't sagging!), I crave those days.
In these exhausting few weeks, I am learning. I am learning about myself. I am learning about my faith.
God is teaching me resilience.
God is teaching me to find not only contentment, but excitement in less.
God is teaching me that hard physical work with your spouse can bring about a myriad of marital advantages.
God is teaching me that ranting really doesn't fix anything but rather makes every one around you miserable too.
God is teaching me to recognize sincere friendship.
God is teaching me that trusting in his plan may have huge surprises and outcomes.
God is teaching me that what we think is perfect for us, is sometimes proven wrong.
God is teaching me that choosing the "crazy" path can be exactly what we need.
God is teaching me to think outside the box.
God is teaching me that life feels more fulfilling and accomplished with hard work.
God is teaching me just how awesome his choice in spouse was for me.
God is teaching me that I have to choose to be an equally good spouse for Ron. It does not come naturally in stressful moments.
God is teaching me to keep plugging forward even when others doubt your choice.
God is teaching me to seek him in exhaustion.
God is teaching me you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I will evidently always look at Wake county on the weather map.
God is still teaching me His way will always be better than mine.
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