I've got this newly formed unsightly asymmetry. And when I say "asymmetry", what I really mean is a lopsided-awkward-completely-unsatisfying-asymmetrical mess of boobage. And we have no idea how it got this way. I didn't notice it prior to my last surgery, or if I did I didn't note it to be noteworthy. Nor did the last surgery of lipografting have any reason to produce such a visual calamity. It's nearly impossible as the area of comparative disfigurement is in no proximity to where the lipografting occurred. Each impostor in and of itself standing alone looks relatively boob-like, however when set side by side - where they happen to be all the time- a stark shocking discrepancy is made apparent.
I can't help but laugh. You, too, would laugh if I were to let you peer into my mirror view. Even Ron, after some very strong encouragement as matter of life and death from me to give his opinion, stated "I admit I wouldn't be satisfied if those were mine." (Rest assured,he followed it with the kindest of words to let me know they don't bother him as spouse. He's a gem you know). It's as if one was shifted off it's orbit after a close encounter with some kind, and the other was squashed after a close encounter with another kind without rebound. There is it stuck in it's squashed state while the other sits on a newly re-programmed yet off kilter orbit. Thankfully, you will never pick up on this hilarity of appearance as for the most part I can neatly disguise the mishap with underwire. Oh the miracles of underwire. We loathe them, but we must love them. However, in other attire, "objects in this mirror.....".
Here's my first unofficial diagnosis from my feeble mind: Both Boobs are out of sorts.
Boob #2.2 - cellulitis surgery resulted in long-term collateral damage. The scar, which by that surgery had been open and closed 3 times, is now tightening with scar tissue thus pulling itself up in squashed state.
Boob #1 - implant dislocation resulting in a new center of gravity and resulting in an unfortunate and untoward orbit. My saving moment being when I realized it could have been worse in that the implant could have found itself at my knee cap instead of simply being re-positioned a little lower than intended. Boob #1 is not my concern per say, but rather it is in my awareness.
Here's my second alternate unofficial diagnosis: Only One boob is ou t of sort:
Either Boob #1 or Boob #2.2 (which, to be determine) is perfectly normal and the other alternate boob is the calamity of nature. But because they reside in tandem locations, they both look drunkard and rather "Twins' Schwarzenegger and DeVito-like" disparate.
This could not have happened overnight.
This most certainly could not have been a result of a meteor impact as surely I would have detected such a force.
Nor could this be a result of a change in earthly centripetal force for surely wouldn't we all have found ourselves in a awkward stumbling gait during readjustment.
But what in the world?!?!?! Boobs gone bad! I emailed Lead Plastic Surgeon. He confirmed my "this was not a result of lipgrafting" hypothesis. He wants an exam. I want a promise of no more surgery. We are both standing our ground.
