To say the last few days, weeks, months have been full of
heartbreak would be the understatement for sure. Black lives, police lives, Turkish
lives, homosexual lives, American lives, Christian lives, refugee lives, children lives killed by
parents, parent lives killed by spouses…the list goes on and on. Then there are the
individual lives we hear nothing about on the ever scrolling news reels. And then there are the
day to day heartbreaks over every day lives. It’s too much! My heart nor my
mind know how and what to process with this ongoing onslaught of “one more
death” day in and day out with no reprieve. I don’t want to get into the cause
of it all because mine would be an uneducated dialogue in a pool of many, but
my summary thought is we have not a gun problem, but rather we have a devastating
heart problem. We’ve lost our focus, and we have yet to find our way back.
So while I am leaving the cause there in that one sentence,
I find myself in need of exploring my role, which I dare not say would be
trivial. We are all to blame. We are stupid to think we are not. I have racism.
I have anger. I have “elitism” thinking I am better than the next. I have
jealousy. I have pride. I have education gaps. I have financial gaps. I have
stupid thoughts and even more stupid reactions. I have a heart that is tender…for
certain things. I have things that make me the cause, and I have things that
make me the target. I am not immune to being a contributing cause to the
problems of this world. We are just as fallen as the next person, but maybe we
have better resources, better coping mechanisms, better…whatever. Encompassing
it all, I am stupid to not at least acknowledge that I am not immune to making
bad decisions, to saying I am one thing when I am really the next, to being part
of the problem and not the solution. Our pride keeps us from acknowledging it.
But it’s there. We need to quit
diagnosing the person next to us and instead start diagnosing ourselves. We need an intervention and we need Divine intervention.
It’s time for purposeful action. I don’t have measurable
effects on legislation. I don’t have measurable effects on our response as a
society. But I do have widely significant effects on my response as self. And I
need to be held accountable to looking inward. I need to sum up the passion I
know lies underneath the muck and make tangible impacts in my immediately
surrounding 100 square feet. I have a choice to make. And it’s knocking at my
front door. So I’m looking for people next to me that I can love on. I’m looking
for that friend that needs an extra “pick me up” today as they navigate their
life. I’m paying kindness forward to my waitress. I’m seeking out opportunities
to offer praise and moments to provide a compliment to that
coworker. I am healing from the inside out and not waiting for you to change. I
am squashing my poor actions and taking responsibility for where I failed you.
I am working to focus on your strengths, for you already know your weaknesses
and need not for me to point those out. I
am reaching out to the friend I haven’t spoken with in quite some time. I am
contacting the person I need to ask forgiveness of. I am offering forgiveness
without waiting to be asked. I am
reminding myself you are driving slow because you have a broken rib. I am
bringing to light that your rude response was sprouted from your domestic
violence. I am saying the words to you I
left unspoken. I am going out of my way to put your needs above my own. I am
seeking to be more grateful and to offer more grace. Even mal-intent can be met
with the kindness of humanity. I can hold you accountable in love, and not in
spite. I can dig deep to find my racism and pray it into extinction. I can be
open that I am not perfection, but rather a fallen soul covered in God’s grace,
which should propel me into a more suitable response. I need to consistently choose to go out of my way to exude kindness. I can root out my failure and replace it with
warmth and hope and joy, for those will win out every single time when chosen! I
am starting this very moment with realistic steps that positively impact my
circle of being.
We think the answer lies in the government or the ___lives
around us (insert your own solution), but I absolutely would be a fool to not
find my role in the destruction of this humanity. That should keep me busy for
many moons to come. As Christ grows my heart, he reveals my responsibility. Our
fingers should first point inward and work outward from there. And we should
hold each other accountable, but only after we start with self. I have a long
road ahead. I know it's not that simple, but really it is.
#prayersforhumanity
