Day # 13 - Princess Sally (posted out of order)

Some positive comical vibes to keep us going: Ron and my sister have resorted to calling me "princess sally".
(no irony lost on me since the name Sally actually does mean "princess"). I'm thankful my mom has stuck with plain ole sally. I guess a woman who actually needs upwards of 11 pillows in the bed to get comfortable deserves a little name calling. Of note, I only require two under normal circumstances. Add to those 11 pillows a face mask and ear plugs, and I'm a slumbering site to behold. Picture me sitting straight up in a chair to eat dinner. Such is the position to be achieved for sleeping. But I'm adamant about sleeping in the bed for normalcy (vs the chair). But seriously, what is normal about that position? It's the only way I can keep the pressure of the drains at a minimal. No doubt an intruder would be frightened out of his shoes if he walked in to find that scene in the middle of the night. But princess Sally needs her beauty sleep just like the next gal.

Today, we washed my hair in the kitchen sink. A dining room chair. Two pillows to sit on. Three towels. Ron's entire arm under my head for cushion- his arm more wet than my head. Mom up to her elbows in soap suds. Oliver, the cat, trying to partake in the festivities. Then comes the blow dryer and 3 brushes.

Shall we start talking about pajamas and sponge baths? In the past 5 days, I've been through as many if not more sets of pajamas. A gal deserves her comfort right? And what is more comfy than fresh pjs? Then there is the munchies every two hours with pain meds. So three title "her highness" may carry some merit, I suppose. Or we can blame the medications.

Wonder how shoulder massages can be worked in to the daily schedule?

"Ron, where are you???? I have an idea...

Day # 7 - Transparency Promised (posted out of order)

Day 7: I'm making a difference. See, every journey has it's purpose we just have to wait it out. Even if one life is changed or impacted, our purpose is served. Often the difference is not for ourselves, but for some one on the periphery. Someone you wouldn't even imagine would be impacted. Tears streaming down my face. "Take the boobs, Lord, if it leads to a changed life, a changed heart, a changed medical practice, empathy, a better relationship...". I promise that makes all if this worth it. So many of you have emailed me to keep the posts coming because it's impacting your day. I was simply trying too get the benefit of 100+ psychiatrists without paying the bill. But hey, if it helps you too. Let's go for it!

Ok, so there is my new focus -100% transparency for my own processing, but also because so many of you have contacted me as to how my transparency is helping your own journey. Well, perfect timing ladies, because today of all days, I am a wreck!

Poor Ron and mom had to suffer through it last night. I was a the year old tantrum, an inconsolable 37 year old frustrated female. It was awful on my own account. Don't get me wrong, i fully trust God and his plan, but sometimes the "going through it" just catches up with your emotions. He gives us emotions for a reason, they are very therapeutic, but boy did mine go haywire.

Flash back to yesterday afternoon when I was feeling so great. Great wasn't something I had felt in seven days. Very far from great. So when there was a single flash of feeling decent I latched on to it with a grip of an iron man. I was up and about. I visited with a friend, I took a long walk, I watched my mom vacuum (hey, it took some effort instructing her) and I took in all the sights of the living room. Reminder, I was running low on pain meds so I also spent the day rationing.

Sept 6, 2012 - Day # 29 - Even I don't believe it.

Day 29: By calendar dates, tomorrow marks one month since the mean ole mastectomy joined my list of "I have dones". I'd much prefer adding sky diving or dog sledding to the list (everyone knows how much I adore a sled dog!), but alas...mastectomy it is. It certainly wasn't on my "top 10" to-dos. But life doesn't always come in top 10s. I now join a glorious club though and am honored to be part of the amazing women who also chose life over the other possibles. I'm in excellent company. Some prophylactic as I, others as a life saving choice in response to a diagnosis. Maybe there should be a mastectomy wall of fame honoring some of those women. Can you picture that? If we can honor a baseball player making millions of dollars a year (really?), why not the face of these women fighting for their lives for free? I shall create this wall of fame in my head. Better yet, feel free to use the comment section below to honor someone you want on this wall. What is better than honoring a struggle or a triumph?

I actually don't personally know anyone else who did this prophylactically, especially someone who was Brca gene negative as I was, so I will start the wall of fame with Sarah Steegar Delaney. She's on facebook, look her up to see picture of what courage looks like.

Sept 5, 2012 - Change in appearance

I easily bore with colors and designs, so I decided to switch the blog appearance up for a bit. Don't worry, you have the right site. Just me needing some more variety in this journey. If I had to change my appearance, why not the blog? Smile.

Have I mentioned my four walls I live in every day. I'm coming up with all kinds of "home improvement" ideas while being on house arrest. But I have a surprise for you regarding "track tryouts" stay tuned.