July 8, 2016 - I know it's not that simple, but really it is.

To say the last few days, weeks, months have been full of heartbreak would be the understatement for sure. Black lives, police lives, Turkish lives, homosexual lives, American lives, Christian lives, refugee lives, children lives killed by parents, parent lives killed by spouses…the list goes on and on. Then there are the individual lives we hear nothing about on the ever scrolling news reels. And then there are the day to day heartbreaks over every day lives. It’s too much! My heart nor my mind know how and what to process with this ongoing onslaught of “one more death” day in and day out with no reprieve. I don’t want to get into the cause of it all because mine would be an uneducated dialogue in a pool of many, but my summary thought is we have not a gun problem, but rather we have a devastating heart problem. We’ve lost our focus, and we have yet to find our way back. 

So while I am leaving the cause there in that one sentence, I find myself in need of exploring my role, which I dare not say would be trivial. We are all to blame. We are stupid to think we are not. I have racism. I have anger. I have “elitism” thinking I am better than the next. I have jealousy. I have pride. I have education gaps. I have financial gaps. I have stupid thoughts and even more stupid reactions. I have a heart that is tender…for certain things. I have things that make me the cause, and I have things that make me the target.  I am not immune to being a contributing cause to the problems of this world. We are just as fallen as the next person, but maybe we have better resources, better coping mechanisms, better…whatever. Encompassing it all, I am stupid to not at least acknowledge that I am not immune to making bad decisions, to saying I am one thing when I am really the next, to being part of the problem and not the solution. Our pride keeps us from acknowledging it. But it’s there.  We need to quit diagnosing the person next to us and instead start diagnosing ourselves. We need an intervention and we need Divine intervention.

It’s time for purposeful action. I don’t have measurable effects on legislation. I don’t have measurable effects on our response as a society. But I do have widely significant effects on my response as self. And I need to be held accountable to looking inward. I need to sum up the passion I know lies underneath the muck and make tangible impacts in my immediately surrounding 100 square feet. I have a choice to make. And it’s knocking at my front door. So I’m looking for people next to me that I can love on. I’m looking for that friend that needs an extra “pick me up” today as they navigate their life. I’m paying kindness forward to my waitress. I’m seeking out opportunities to offer praise and moments to provide a compliment to that coworker. I am healing from the inside out and not waiting for you to change. I am squashing my poor actions and taking responsibility for where I failed you. I am working to focus on your strengths, for you already know your weaknesses and need not for me to point those out.  I am reaching out to the friend I haven’t spoken with in quite some time. I am contacting the person I need to ask forgiveness of. I am offering forgiveness without waiting to be asked.  I am reminding myself you are driving slow because you have a broken rib. I am bringing to light that your rude response was sprouted from your domestic violence.  I am saying the words to you I left unspoken. I am going out of my way to put your needs above my own. I am seeking to be more grateful and to offer more grace. Even mal-intent can be met with the kindness of humanity. I can hold you accountable in love, and not in spite. I can dig deep to find my racism and pray it into extinction. I can be open that I am not perfection, but rather a fallen soul covered in God’s grace, which should propel me into a more suitable response.  I need to consistently choose to go out of my way to exude kindness. I can root out my failure and replace it with warmth and hope and joy, for those will win out every single time when chosen! I am starting this very moment with realistic steps that positively impact my circle of being.

We think the answer lies in the government or the ___lives around us (insert your own solution), but I absolutely would be a fool to not find my role in the destruction of this humanity. That should keep me busy for many moons to come. As Christ grows my heart, he reveals my responsibility. Our fingers should first point inward and work outward from there. And we should hold each other accountable, but only after we start with self. I have a long road ahead. I know it's not that simple, but really it is. 


#prayersforhumanity
#mayheartbreakbehealedwithselfaction
#prayersforSally  




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